Jun 07

Are You Speaking To Your Spouse’s Heart?

Last week I was asked a question that triggers me to write this post about reaching a spouse’s heart. The question was “How do you speak to your spouse’s heart when they are no longer in the marriage emotionally? Honestly, I wish there was a simple answer, but when it comes to marriage, there are no simple answers. This is a place I wouldn’t wish for any couple to get to. However, in many marriages, the roommate situation has become the norm. Two individuals living in the same house but emotionally one and sometime both spouses have left the marriage. Day by day becoming strangers.  


Photo Courtesy of Kathy Kimpel under Flickr Creative Commons

As hard it was for me to say this. This was my answer. – I don’t have one answer that could solve this marriage question.  If you want to fight for your marriage, you keep speaking to the heart while she is still receptive. It won’t be easy, but I want to walk with you and support you. My answers sounded simple but it takes so much courage and dedication to put the following sentences in actions when you are getting no feedback.  

Speaking to the heart means – You speak with patience. You speak with respect by watching your tone and your body language. You speak with actions especially if your track record cannot speak for you anymore. You admit that you were wrong. You asked for forgiveness and forgive yourself. You give your spouse space to grieve and space to address her emotions.  You get support for your heart since you might get weary on how long you need to be “punished” to prove that you want this marriage. You give your marriage time to heal. You feed your spouse  with love daily because that’s all you can do. If you want to fight for your marriage, you have to keep speaking to the heart while you still have the chance.  

 Are you speaking to your spouse’s heart on a daily basis? If you are in a  situation right now where your spouse is not listening, my heart goes out to you. I urge  you to keep fighting if you want to save your marriage. It is completely understandable that you are tired and you might want to give up. Don’t shut down or give up. Don’t retaliate by pulling away. Get the support you need and continue to speak with your spouse’s heart. It is better to try then to have not tried at all and wonder if you could have save your marriage.

Questions:   What does it mean for you to speak to your spouse’s heart?  How would speaking to your spouse’s  heart look in action?

Thank you for reading