May 08

What Kind of Marriage Do You Want?

Monday Marriage Motivation

The question might  have got you off your current thought pattern. That is okay. Don’t ignore the question. Answer it. Don’t keep reading until you can actually picture the marriage you want. Do you wish you could connect  at a deeper level with your spouse? Or, has the word marriage has been a source of  emotional gut wrenching pain for you lately? You see many individual dream about a happy marriage and some spouse wish it together on the wedding day. BUT Wishing, dreaming is not enough.


What kind of marriage do you want? is the first question that can lead you and your spouse to start dreaming and creating a haven of peace. A marriage that really speak joy and peace to both of you as individual. It is a question that lead you to inspire each other to be your best self for each other. However, after you dream you must take action, So, this is where the real work begin.

There is only one way to create the marriage that you want: Marriage Intentionality

You might wonder if the above term is some psychobabble or some over promise and under deliver self-help term. Don’t let the simplicity of the term fool you. This is the only term that differentiate between your friend frustrated failed marriage  and the elderly couple that actually enjoy each other company after 50 years of marriage. Marriage intentionality is what separate the couple that have become just roommate between the couple that yearn to be with each after a day of work.

Marriage intentionality requires you not only to ask What kind of marriage do you want but you must also ask of your self and of your spouse What will you do to create the kind of marriage you want? Don’t Answer this question in broad term. Be specific. I will show more love to my spouse is broad. Instead really list exactly what you will to create the marriage that you want. Don’t overthink it. Make it simple.

List 3 Things you will do this week to create the kind of marriage you want.

Happy marriages are not fairy tales. As a couple counselor, I don’t get a free pass from marriage intentionality. I have to work on my marriage too . I walk side by side with couples so they can see that marriage intentionality is really needed. After counseling, marriage intentionality continues. Counseling alone will not fix your marriage.

The media does not portray successful marriages. Don’t you dare look at Hollywood for your example of successful marriage. Hollywood and the media promoted the divorce of Brad and Angelina until they couldn’t milk the sad ending anymore. Happy marriages do exist. They do not happen overnight. Happy marriages  are the result of marriage intetionality. Your parents might have fought daily, but your marriage can be different. You  cant start the legacy of the successful marriage in your family. Start today by answering of the most important questions to create the marriage that you want.



Take Action 

Marriage Tip – Thank your spouse for a specific action that he or she did for you this week.

Today’s Marriage Resource 

Questions –  What are you doing this week to start creating the marriage you want? List one thing that you will do today for your spouse to start creating the marriage that you want.


Thank you for reading