Jun 19

Marriage Quotes That Actually Help Your Marriage

Monday Marriage Motivation

Great marriages need constant enrichment. Although most couples walk down the aisle madly in love, everyday life happens. Couples who do not have any support and encouragement in their marriage toolbox suffer greatly. For some couples daily stress is just a test. For some couples daily stress lead to the dreaded divorce. One way, I keep my marriage healthy is by reading quotes, scriptures and great books. Over the years, I have found several great quotes that have helped me to grow in forgiveness, friendship, intimacy, love, acceptance and personal responsibility. I can tell you reading the quotes are encouraging, but I find true enrichment in applying them. I hope your marriage will bloom too.

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Here are my Top Ten favorite marriage quotes:

 

1. “Marriage is like a fine wine, if tended properly; it just gets better with age.”

-Unknown

2. “You don’t marry one person; you marry three: the person you think they are, the person they are, and the person they are going to become as a result of being married to you.”

-Richard Needham

3. “The first to apologize is the bravest. The first to forgive is the strongest. The first to forget is the happiest.”

-Unknown

4. “A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person.”

-Mignon McLaughlin

5. “A happy marriage is the union of two good forgivers.”

-Robert Quillen

6. “Coming together is a beginning; keeping together is progress; working together is success.”

-Henry Ford

7. “They say it takes a village to raise a child. That may be the case, but the truth is that it takes a lot of solid, stable marriages to create a village.”

-Diane Sollee

8. “There is no greater happiness for a man than approaching a door at the end of a day knowing someone on the other side of that door is waiting for the sound of his footsteps.”

-Ronald Reagan

9. “Success in marriage does not come merely through finding the right mate, but through being the right mate.”

  – Barnett Brickner

10. “Many marriages would be better if the husband and wife clearly understood that they’re on the same side.”

– Zig Ziglar

Don’t allow your marriage to suffer malnutrition.  Build a strong marriage by using great marriage quotes.

 

Question: What is your favorite marriage quote or scripture?

Thank you for reading.

Jun 14

How Can We Increase Romance in Our Marriage?

Ask Marie?

How can we increase romance in our marriage?  

Romance is so crucial to keep a relationship alive. However, if a couple is not intentional, everyday life issues can kill the romance.

What is romance? Romance is simple, thoughtful and sometime spontaneous. Romance is doing what your spouse needs to feel loved. Romance is creating an environment of warmth. Romance can lead to sexual intimacy, but a relationship cannot survive if the only reason for romance is sex.

Romance

When should couple initiate romance? Every day. Romance requires daily practice. Do not wait for the end of the day to romance your spouse. At the end of the day, you are probably tired.

How can you demonstrate romance? This question is extremely important. Communication with your spouse will determine how you demonstrate romance. It might be with an encouraging text, a simple note, a breakfast in bed or a massage. Whatever it is. Do it. No marriage can flourish without romance.

Question: What does the word romance means to you? What does the word  romance means to your spouse?

Thank you for reading

 

 

 

Jun 12

Dreaming Big? 4 Ways To Support Each Others’ Dreams & Win

Monday Marriage Motivation

There are too many single married couples around these days. The term single married couple should not even exist but it does. The term refers to married couples who willingly walked down the aisle, took the vows under no threat or duress but after marriage both spouses behave as single individuals. They pay bill separately, finances are separate, no common interests and the worst of all they dream separately.

One ship heading two different directions. A couple that dreams stays together. In becoming one as a couple, dreaming together to achieve goals individually and as a couple is crucial. Two are really better than one because dreaming with your spouse is not only building intimacy. Each spouse has a counselor, a personal sounding board, a devoted supporter and accountability partner that is there 100%.

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Photo Courtesy of Stuart MIles  Freedigitalphotos.net

Don’t be a single married couple. You did not walk down the aisle for a mere performance. This is one of the most neglected areas of marriage and you can start reaping the benefits today.

Here are 4 Ways to Dream Big With Your Spouse & Win

Start by dreaming together – This is really the first step that can help you and your spouse go beyond the limits that your lack of sharing have imposed in your marriage. Dreaming big means just sharing ideas you have had for years out in the open. Did you ever wanted to travel aboard? Do you wish to build your own home? Have you ever considered open a business? Let your dreams flow out of your head. Lack of sharing dreams lead to dreams dying. The reason this step is so crucial because it allows your spouse to hear your desires and how far you want to fly. and if you have a spouse that is not a dreamer, you might inspire him or her to go in search of dreams. Don’t be afraid to dream with your spouse. You will learn to dream as an individual, for each other ad for the marriage.

Create  specific goals – Hearing each other’s dreams create intimacy. You really get to see your spouse desires and wish. You hear what he or she wants to become. It is like a spark of light flickering in a dark room. When you start creating specific goals as a couple, you are taking mere ideas from sparks to really lighting the whole room.  Both of you can start seeing the possibilities. Creating goals that support each other’s dreams require teamwork. You have to be active in your marriage for teamwork to take place. Set a  starting and achieving dates. Share your potential challenges about your goals with your spouse and request accountability the way that it will propel you to accomplish your goals.

Plan for  schedule goals revision and checking in – No schedule revision and check in lead to your goals fallen off track. Your spouse might have dreams about opening a business, set specific goals. What happened when he or she is faced with an obstacles and you are not there for each other. Obstacles will come. Fears will rise. It is in the midst of the chaos you can support each other. A little encouragement can help your spouse achieve his or her dreams and not give up.

Celebrate the wins – Having gone through these steps myself, I can assure you celebrating each wins with your spouse bring you closer than you would have imagined. You really get to see the results of putting two minds as one to help each other succeed. You get to thank each other for the journey that you lived as a couple. You get to reminisce overcoming the struggles.No matter how small the win is, go celebrate. Even if it is a cup of coffee. Both of you deserve it.

Don’t live a single life while you are married. Reap the full benefits of your marriage by dreaming together, creating goals together, plan to  uplift each other and celebrate your wins. Two are better than one because you can achieve more by putting your head together. Go ahead turn your dreams into reality. 

 

Take Action 

Marriage Tip – Make a list of dreams that have been on your heart. Share them with your spouse . Write down together some of the dreams that you and your spouse would like to create specific goals for.

Today’s Marriage Resource 

Goal Setting for Marriage 

Michael Hyatt’s – 5 Gifts from Spouses to Entrepreneurs

 

Questions –  What is one goal you want to achieve in the next 3 months? Share the details with you spouse? Find out a goal that your spouse would like to accomplished in the next 3 months. Ask your spouse  one specific way you can help support him or her in achieving this goal.

 

Thank you for reading

Jun 07

Are You Speaking To Your Spouse’s Heart?

Last week I was asked a question that triggers me to write this post about reaching a spouse’s heart. The question was “How do you speak to your spouse’s heart when they are no longer in the marriage emotionally? Honestly, I wish there was a simple answer, but when it comes to marriage, there are no simple answers. This is a place I wouldn’t wish for any couple to get to. However, in many marriages, the roommate situation has become the norm. Two individuals living in the same house but emotionally one and sometime both spouses have left the marriage. Day by day becoming strangers.  

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Photo Courtesy of Kathy Kimpel under Flickr Creative Commons

As hard it was for me to say this. This was my answer. – I don’t have one answer that could solve this marriage question.  If you want to fight for your marriage, you keep speaking to the heart while she is still receptive. It won’t be easy, but I want to walk with you and support you. My answers sounded simple but it takes so much courage and dedication to put the following sentences in actions when you are getting no feedback.  

Speaking to the heart means – You speak with patience. You speak with respect by watching your tone and your body language. You speak with actions especially if your track record cannot speak for you anymore. You admit that you were wrong. You asked for forgiveness and forgive yourself. You give your spouse space to grieve and space to address her emotions.  You get support for your heart since you might get weary on how long you need to be “punished” to prove that you want this marriage. You give your marriage time to heal. You feed your spouse  with love daily because that’s all you can do. If you want to fight for your marriage, you have to keep speaking to the heart while you still have the chance.  

 Are you speaking to your spouse’s heart on a daily basis? If you are in a  situation right now where your spouse is not listening, my heart goes out to you. I urge  you to keep fighting if you want to save your marriage. It is completely understandable that you are tired and you might want to give up. Don’t shut down or give up. Don’t retaliate by pulling away. Get the support you need and continue to speak with your spouse’s heart. It is better to try then to have not tried at all and wonder if you could have save your marriage.

Questions:   What does it mean for you to speak to your spouse’s heart?  How would speaking to your spouse’s  heart look in action?

Thank you for reading

Jun 05

5 Ways to Increase Your Marriage Spiritual Intimacy

Monday Marriage Motivation

Spirituality can mean many things to individuals. In a marriage, spirituality can be a bond that help the marriage grow or a point of contention. There are couples that argue that their spouse not going to church or pray. Spirituality in marriage really goes beyond just sitting at the pews on Sunday or attending midweek on Wednesdays. Attending service is one of the ways you can build a spiritual connection with your spouse. However, there are endless ways to build spiritual intimacy with your spouse. Spirituality can really be a way of life that triggers great intimacy in every area of your marriage.

If you have not tapped into spirituality powers to create a great marriage, you are missing out. When you are facing hard times, you can pray with each other or pray for each other. If you are feeling overwhelming, instead of running away or argue with each other meditate.

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Photo Courtesy of Irina Patrascu under Flickr Creative Commons

Here are 5 Tips That Have Helped me to Create a Spiritual Connection with My Spouse:  

1. Meditate together – I can attest to this tip personally. Meditation is not only relaxing, but it triggers so much clarity. I have meditated with scriptures, positive affirmations, eastern music and positive quotes and it keeps me  and my spouse on a positive note. 

2. Read a book from the Bible – I have read Proverbs with my husband. To this date, this is an annual activity I look forward to. We learn so much from each other. This can be a great accountability exercise. As you practice what you learned from reading, you can keep checking on each other and encouraging each other to grow.  


3. Pray together – When you have hard times or want to celebrate victories, praying together can really trigger togetherness. Two hearts petitioning , thanking and praising God. I can tell you hearing my husband praying for me have encouraged me in many situations. Hearing his prayers gives me a door to his heart. Go on a prayer walk, start a prayer journal or just get on your knees together, you will see wonders.

4. Pray for each other – Praying for my spouse have really softened my heart throughout our marriage. There have been times I gained clarity about situations because I prayed. Sure, it is great to pray together, but praying for your spouse’s goals, dreams, struggles, can really help you understand their point of view. 

5. Study a spiritual book together – I’m not talking about a marriage book. I’m talking about a book that will challenge you to grow to the core in your spiritual convictions. A few years ago, we read Grace by Max Lucado.  All I can say is Wow. Talking about our convictions and gaining new insights on grace was just the beginning. The book focused on grace, but I can tell you the benefits were spiritual, emotional and it helped our marriage tremendously.

Whether you have created a great spiritual connection with your spouse or looking to establish a deeper spiritual connection, use the above tips. My marriage has benefited exponentially from these tips. Start getting spiritual connected with your spouse today.

 

 

Take Action 

Marriage Tip – Ask your spouse what is  his or her spiritual goals?

Today’s Marriage Resources 

 

Questions –  How do you stay spiritually connected with each other?

 

Thank you for reading

 

May 31

We Can’t Communicate

Ask Marie?

We argue all the times. We can’t communicate without shouting at each other. We started avoiding conflicts but it makes thing worse

 

You are very brave and you are on the right path to resolve your conflicts because you are seeking help. Avoiding conflicts will only create the conflict to get bigger.

 

Here are something to consider before addressing conflicts with your partner:

 

Communication is an act of love, so speak with each other with love and honesty. Honesty is telling the truth without contempt, criticism, stonewalling and anger.

 

Take care of yourself emotionally before you address a conflict. if you are upset, you will communicate anger. The message will get lost.

 

Discuss one topic at a at a time. It can be very hard to focus on one issue. However, if you are bringing all the unresolved issues at once, both you and your spouse will be overwhelmed.

 

Be gracious with each other. Marriage will have issues.  Remember you and your spouse are on the same team. 

 

 

 

Face fear

 

 

Communicate with love. Take care of yourself. Come to each conflict with an open heart. Do not avoid conflict because it will resurface. Love is a verb and hurt will happen. It is what you do with the hurt that can break or  make your marriage.

 

Take Action

 

Marriage Tip – Before you discuss a conflict write the conflict down from a third party point of view that have both parties best interests in mind.

 

Today’s Marriage Resource

 When you are angry, try to sooth yourself by expressing your anger appropriately before you speak with your spouse. Letting your anger rule you, will only block your spouse from hearing the message.

 

Question: How can you speak with your spouse with love? How do you wish your spouse would speak with you with love during  a conflict?

 

Thank you for reading

May 29

3 Reasons You Should Keep Dating Your Spouse

Monday Marriage Motivation

When you said your  “I do” you started a long journey of courtship and dating. However, many married couples throw dating out of the window the day they vowed to be one. It is like a backward move. Trying to be one but leaving the dating and courtship portion at the altar. If there is one crucial point to grab at the altar, it is the importance of dating your spouse.

First, let’s make it clear  that no marriage will survive without dating each other. I’m not talking about spending every single weekend in a fine dining restaurant. I’m talking about really getting to know your spouse. Playing with each other. Romancing each other. I see many couples in my counseling practice that will dabble in a date for Valentine or anniversary. It is fine to celebrate those events listed above. However, if this is the only time you are dating spouse, your marriage is really suffering a courtship diet.  

Here are 3 reasons you should keep dating your spouse:

1. You encourage each other – Marriage is hard work. By dating each other you allowing a flow of positive encouragement. A date is a perfect opportunity to reconnect after a long work week. A date allow you and your spouse to disconnect from the noises of social media, kids, work, etc and focus on the both of you as a unit.

2. You keep the romance alive – Dating each other is not merely for encouragement, it is an opportunity for couple to really woo and romance each other. Sexual attraction for each other will not evolve if  there is no romance and no pursuit of each other. Your husband will feel handsome if he has a wife who shows that he is desired. A wife needs to know after many years of marriage she is attractive to her husband.

3. Getting to know who your spouse is – A man and a woman in a relationship are always evolving. No man  and no woman ever stay the same after their  vows. The marriage by itself will act as a catalyst to shape both of you. By not dating each other you really lost getting to know your spouse. However, if you keep courting each other you learn to know what your spouse likes and dislikes, you learn to know how he or she thinks by having conversation. You create new and fun memories by spending time together.

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Photo Courtesy of Photostock under freedigitalphotos.net

Remember courting your spouse doesn’t end the day your say ” I do” Courting and dating your spouse is the beginning of dating your best friend. It is the way to keep your sexual fire burning for each other. Most importantly, by dating your spouse you are choosing to love  and falling in love with the person they are becoming. Start dating your spouse today.

 

 

 

Take Action 

Marriage Tip – Ask your spouse what is his or her ideal date?

Today’s Marriage Resources 

Recreational Enjoyment Inventory

Questions –  What was the most adventurous date you had with your spouse? Use the Recreational Enjoyment List to set an exciting date with your spouse.

 

Thank you for reading

May 29

Happy Memorial Day

Happy Memorial Day

 

 

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Photo Courtesy of Rattikankeawpun under freedigitalphotos.net

The willingness of America’s veterans to sacrifice for our country has earned them our lasting gratitude.  – Jeff Miller

 

 

 

May 24

Just Got Engaged What Should We Do?

Ask Marie?

We just got engaged. We came from broken homes. What can we do to ensure that we will not repeat the stories of divorce we witnessed as children?

 

Congratulation. Engagement is an exciting time. Take time with your fiance to build your lives. You have make the first step and it is a huge step. You want to prevent your marriage from divorce that is a wonderful step. Listed below are some areas you and your fiance can start looking and exploring to create a successful marriage.

 

Here are some of the areas you and your fiance can explore:

 

Communication- Speak with each other with love and honesty.

 

Forgiveness – Do not allow little issues to create bitterness. Ask for forgiveness and give grace.

 

Intentional – Be deliberate about becoming one.

 

Boundaries – Set boundaries on key issues (finances, parenting, in laws, fidelity, spiritual, etc)  

 

Self-care – Love yourself and take care of yourself so you will have energy to piu in your spouse.

 

Rituals – Create daily, weekly and even monthly rituals ( date nights, daily kisses, anniversary trips, etc) just for your and your spouse.

 

Be an expert in your marriage – Dedicate yourself to learning. Read books about marriage. Go on marriage seminars. Seek advice regularly from trusted couples that empower marriage.

 

 

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Be intentional about building a strong marriage. There is no perfect marriage, but there millions of successful marriages. Choose to make your marriage important to you and it will be a success.

 

Take Action

 

Marriage Tip – Discuss the expectations of  your role as a  spouse with your wife.

 

Today’s Marriage Resource

 Based on the answer above create a  first year marriage nourishment plan

 

Question: Where  do you see your marriage in five years?

 

Thank you for reading

May 22

The Simplest Way to Encourage Your Spouse Today

Monday Marriage Motivation

The simplest way to encourage your spouse is saying I love you. However, it is so simple that most couple really forget to use it daily. Life is stressful by itself. Marriage can be quite challenging. These three simple words: I LOVE YOU can really be a lifeline that keep your marriage alive.

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Photo Courtesy of Koko Tewan under freedigitalphotos.net

 

So, really think about it. How would you feel hearing your spouse saying he loves you daily? How those three simple words would impact your marriage?Can I love you really change the way your husband feels about his self-esteem? Can you really build him up when he feels that he is a failure? Do not underestimate the power of I love you. Most married couples would agreed that during  the dating period I love you was a daily saying. However, once they are together, the romance stops.Your marriage will not survive on occasional I love you. Saying I l love you is simple, but these three words really encourage, and boost your spouse morale.

Make today the day you start feeling your spouse a strong healthy diet of I love you. Say it holding his hands. Send him a I love you text. Hold her hands and look into her eyes and say I love you. I love you is the simplest way to encourage your spouse, but it is  one of the most powerful acts of love you can practice dally.

 

 

Take Action 

Marriage Tip – Tell your spouse you love him or her in a creative way.

Today’s Marriage Resource 

Questions –  How have you creatively say I love you to your spouse? How do you you plan to say I love you today?

 

Thank you for reading

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